Galahad's Tails
by Hunt Seat Panhead
Summary: Poor Galahad, he never has much luck with ponies
1. Galahad's Tail

"Obviously I don't own anything because it's on _fanfiction_ and obviously I'm not getting paid because it's on _fanfiction_." Narroch06

The characters (excluding Geoffrey and the ponies) are property to whoever was the brilliant Welsh or Celtic poet to first recite them. Theoderic belongs to me and in a way to a ranch in Ohio. The inspiration comes from Fowxer09, so in a way this is her story too.

Almost all is based on true events and the rest… let us call it author's right.

Without further to do . . .

Galahad's Tail

It was in the middle of a particularly hot and sticky summer day, that Geoffrey, the horse master decided that his juvenile soon-to-be-knights needed braver mounts. In order to get to that result they were going to horse swim.

Now one must understand that by nature, horses do not like swimming or for that matter any water in which they can not see their own four hooves. They especially do not like it if, God forbid, their riders' want to ride them through the water. Now some horses will take to water but most would rather stand on the bank and stare at amazement as their riders beg, plead, and otherwise order them to cross. As many people know, very little can change the mind of a stubborn horse … or pony.

The collection of junior knights gathered by the designated pond. The horse master decided that keeping the groups smaller allowed for more one-on-one time. Now in theory this is an excellent idea, but sometimes too much attention and help just plain ruins it.

"You're sure this is safe?" A young boy, Robin sat on his own bay pony, stared apprehensively at the murky water.

"Of course, didn't you hear Dagonet, Bors and Kay when they came back? Well at least Bors?" An older boy much closer to manhood, commented, grinning. Lancelot scratched his bay's whither. In response the stallion curled his lip up showing his equine delight.

"Everyone can hear Bors." A younger boy on a stocky palomino rode up, "Theoderic and I can make it, won't we?" Galahad leaned forward and scratched the pony's poll. The gelding just swished his tail lazily. Being a future knight's pony was hard he was forced to leave his nice lush, green pasture, full of dandelions and clover to get wet.

"We'll all make it." Arthur on his own native pony rode up, like the rest of the group he had left his saddle back at the stable complex. Just then Geoffrey rode over on his own steed, a fine Roman mount.

"All right, three of you come with me." Tristan, Lancelot, and Robin followed Geoffrey around the pond to the shallow starting point. Tristan's own chestnut took bravely to water, splashing a bit, but once in, swam gamely across. Lancelot's stallion pranced side to side in agitation before Geoffrey drove him in with his own horse. The displeased horse stood hock deep in the water staring at it in disgust. Kicking him forward, the stallion began to paddle swiftly across; soon he was able to touch the rocky bottom. Picking up a trot he headed towards shore. Looking around Lancelot grinned, ready for some friendly ragging and suddenly he found himself falling. Sensing his rider's glee, the stallion had taken matters into his own hooves, dropping one shoulder he turned suddenly, sending up a splash when Lancelot hit the water.

By then Tristan was safely on the other side, already starting to dry and Robin's pony was still standing hock deep in the muck and mire. He was certainly grumpy, he hated water, and he always had. As a colt some brilliant youngster, many believe it was Gareth, chased him into a swollen stream. Being the dim light bulb that he was, he couldn't quite swim. He never did get over that bad experience.

As the pony reminisced Geoffrey managed to chase him in deeper. Realizing where he was at, the pony floundered hopelessly. Spying a conveniently placed tree on the bank with low overhanging branches, the desperate pony changed course. Robin felt the shift and frantically tried yanking his pony's head back toward their original goal. But what the bay lacked in bravery, he made up for in determination. There was no way to stop him from reaching the tree and the steep shoreline. Not being particularly loyal either, he turned and walked into the tree's low jutting branches. There Robin began to be pried off. Grasping at the mane he rode the pony out as it waded slightly into the pond to get around the troublesome branches. By then Robin was straddling the side of the pony's barrel and not his back. Once a few feet out from the tree, Robin lost his grip and fell into a foot of wet, rocky, pond scum. The pony in turn trotted up the steep embankment, and went around the pond to wait patiently with Tristan and Lancelot. Robin was forced to paddle across the pond to the horses.

Arthur, Galahad and Gawain then rode their mounts around the pond to give it a try. Arthur went first. Initially all was well, his pony bravely trod through the water until it almost crept up to his dock, but then he decided that it was completely too wet for him. Standing stock-still he refused to move. Despite any and all encouragement on Arthur's part, the horse just stood there, completely petrified.

"Hold on Arthur, Come on Guingalet." Gawain called up nudging his barely-tamed aughisky into the water. Running his horse directly behind Arthur's he caused the balking horse to race forward. The past few weeks he had been coming back from the pasture with various scrapes and kicks. No one but the horses knew where they were coming from. Laughing the two boys crossed the pond. On the far side was still Galahad on Theoderic, and Geoffrey with his horse. Nodding to Galahad, Geoffrey started around the pond, leaving Galahad to brave it himself.

Steeling himself, Galahad nudged Theoderic forward. The pony went a few steps into the water, then a few more. Soon half of his barrel was submerged. Praising his pony, Galahad looked at the others, everyone was now safely on the other side. Giving Theoderic a final nudge firmly on his side, right at the heart girth, Galahad gathered the reins and grabbed some mane. The pony surged forward. The boys let out cheers of encouragement. Galahad could barely hear anything over Theoderic's thrashing. Finally, they were deep enough for the young knight to start swimming off the pony's back. But Galahad realized too late that Theoderic was aiming for the same tree that Robin met the mud.

Trying desperately to turn the pony he resigned himself to not hit the tree, but land on the far side of the bank. However he also was delayed in noticing that the pony's back was too far above the water line to easily remount. Leading the pony forward he stopped at the bank. Immediately Theoderic started to graze on the nearly vertical embankment. Geoffrey trotted over.

"Grab his tail and let him pull you up the slope," He grinned down at the junior knight.

"Alright," Galahad grabbed two fistfuls of tail, "Theoderic, Walk on!" The pony, half listening, trotted up the slope, pulling Galahad behind him. Once they reached the road, the pony continued his pace. Too shocked to let go, Galahad was comically pulled along after the stubborn pony. Theoderic, deciding to purposefully ignore the bothersome weight at his six, moved into a nice ground covering trot.

"Let go, boy!" Geoffrey yelled at the lad from where he first had landed. Some how, that message registered in Galahad's mind. Letting go of the tail, he tripped over his own feet, and landed on the ground. Quickly rising, he looked at the pony. As soon as Galahad had let go, Theoderic slowed down. Now he was grazing contentedly on the white Queen's Lace that grew through out the valley. Stalking up to the pony, Galahad grabbed the reins and swung up on his back. Turning towards the other's he watched in amazement as Arthur fell off his horse, laughing, soon to be followed by Lancelot. Glowering he guided Theoderic over to the knights, groaning as Theoderic choose to go through a deep culvert.

"I'm sorry Galahad, but that was hilarious!" Gawain wiped tears from his eyes.

"I don't see what was so funny," Galahad replied indignantly. Even Tristan was smiling, he never smiled.

"You weren't up on the hill," Tristan wheezed, he was trying hard not to audibly laugh.

"You should have seen you," Tittered Robin, attempting to stay up right on his grazing pony.

"Alright boys, time to try that again." The young men stared at their horse master, "You think you'd only do that once? And you Galahad, you have to actually go through the water."

Well there you have it, folks. Galahad's Tail Now this is meant as a one-shot but I may just continue for my own humor.

By the happenstance that you were wondering, an aughisky is a water horse from Orkney. If you don't know what or where Orkney, do look it up, though skip the romance of Lot and Morgause, it's rather graphic.


	2. Galahad's Obstacle

"Obviously I don't own anything because it's on _fanfiction_ and obviously I'm not getting paid because it's on _fanfiction_." Narroch06

The characters (excluding Geoffrey and the ponies) are property to whoever was the brilliant Welsh or Celtic poet to first recite them. Theoderic belongs to me, in a way to a ranch in Ohio, a horse rescue and a hunter barn in Pennsylvania. The inspiration comes from my own exploits with a certain POA gelding and a certain O.T.T.B (off the track Thoroughbred.) Oh I could you some stories...

Almost all is based on true events and the rest… let us call it author's right.

Without further to do . . .

Galahad's Obstacle

It was in the middle of a particularly cool and blustery autumn day, that Geoffrey, the horse master decided that his juvenile soon-to-be-knights needed braver mounts. In order to get to that result they were going to work on going over any and all obstacles that got in their way.

Now one must understand that by nature, most horses do not like going over anything that they can't see the other side of or see underneath. Many horses have this fear that underneath every single little pole laying on the ground or standing on end is a rabid raccoon bent on their demise. The mere sight of such vile poles and logs, brushes and boxes gives many horses with the wiles. God forbid that their rider wants them to go over it. This fear and the general obstinacy of horses leaves many a horse and rider separated, usually with the rider on the opposite side of the fence, or at least it leaves them both on the same side and no chance of going over. As many people know, very little can change the mind of a stubborn horse … or pony.

At the appointed time each "lesson regiment" of knights went to the training field. On the field was a pile of logs, a large imposing fallen tree, and various other mundane jumps that struck fear in the hearts of the young knights and hatred in minds of the equines.

"Isn't that tree rather high?" Robin looked with eyes wide at the large, imposing, wooden monstrosity. His new pony, a taller, stocky dun, bit the bit and tossed his head. Robin's previous pony was now a babysitter in some lush green pasture with young colts.

"Nah, didn't you hear Lamorak?" Lancelot sat back on his stallion, who at the moment was contemplating bucking him off, "Every horse in the first group cleared it."

"We won't make a fool of ourselves this time, will we, Theoderic?" Galahad see-sawed the reins to wake up his lazy palomino pony. Just that summer in an attempt to make him braver Galahad ended up being dragged along by his pony's tail. The pony distinctly remembered such an unhappy occurrence and the subsequent chasing-of-the-poor-defenseless-pony through the pond.

The young knights warmed up their mounts. Collectively and individually they put their horses through their paces. As to combat the almost inevitable refusals and run-outs they all popped over one of the small log jumps. Soon all the horses were getting their spirit and were carrying on.

Geoffrey rode up on his chestnut mare; since the summer his "fine roman steed" had taken lame, jumped a fence and lamed him-self again, and managed to take a sizable piece out of his near hind hoof by standing quite still in his relatively small paddock. The numerous accidents and every growing list of vices forced Geoffrey to take up yet another horse, this fine native mare, taller than the usual stock but still as hardy. This new mare was the cause of many fights between some of the larger (and one of the smaller) stallions.

"So who would like to go first?" Geoffrey paused waiting for volunteers, "Alright who would you all like to go first."

After a moments hesitation all but one knight pointed at Galahad. The one not pointing at Galahad was himself, who was indeed pointing at Arthur.

"Alright, Galahad, sine you did so well in the pond-"

"That was this summer!"

"-You can go through the course first."

Groaning Galahad looked a the course, on the field besides the logs, and the fallen tree was a pile of boxes that relatively resembled a chicken coup, a line of cut bracken that reached well over the tame seven and a half hands high that they were previously jumping. In fact all but the log they had warmed up over, all the fences were that high.

"The course is as follows-remember this-I am not repeating myself- Pick up a canter or gallop-your preference- five strides _before_ the small pile, coming towards us. From there taken a broken line to the bracken pile. Circle _around_ the fallen tree back over the pile. Take a straight line to the larger pile of logs, the one with a slant on the near side. From that pile..." Geoffrey went on for a few moments, detailing the course until he came to the final fence, "And when you clear the bank-and I'm sure you will, head in a straight approach to the fallen log. That's that, get moving, Galahad."

Glumly, Galahad nudged Theoderic forward. With a frustrated swishing of his tail and the tossing of his head, the palomino complied. When Galahad nudged the pony forward with more force, the pony grudgingly picked up a slow, almost walking speed lope. Growling, Galahad kicked the pony. Throwing in a small bunny hop, the pony sped up. After clearing the first few jumps, Theoderic perked up. With this added boost of interest, he added quite a bit more speed. Soon, the duo was powering through the course. A few more fences and all that remained of the course was one, large, imposing tree.

Remembering internally Geoffrey's mantra, Galahad prepared for the fence. 'Pick up your reins, sit back, close your hinge, big release, heels down, look and-"

"You idiot! If you don't pay attention you are going to miss the jump!" The yelling jerked Galahad out of his preparation. In his concentration he had let the pony wander to far to the left. Bringing the pony back to him, Galahad steered back toward the tree. Within three strides, Theoderic danced left. Thrown off balance, Galahad gripped the pony's neck. Straight ahead was a pile of old wine casks that were being used at standards. Galahad knew that the idiot pony would try to jump them. Steering right Galahad prepared for impact, or at least a sudden stop. None came; the pony had sailed, in good form, over the tree. Shocked Galahad stayed hugging the pony around the neck. Realizing that the pony had no intention of stopping he started yelling at him.

"Theoderic, you stupid git! Stop! Theo, Stop! Halt! Hooo!" Nothing would stop the pony, he continued to merrily gallop, at the fastest speed his little legs would go, towards the other knights. Afraid to see the aftermath, Galahad shut his eyes and held on tight to the ends of the reins and the pony's thick mane, all the while hugging the pony around the neck.

Galloping forward, Geoffrey raced at the pony. Leaning over he grabbed the now quite loose reins.

"Whoa lad. Sa-sa. You don't need to frighten poor Galahad; you've put him through enough." Pulling the pony and his own mare to a halt, the old man sat back in his saddle. "You alright, young sprout?" The young knight glared at the nickname.

"I'm fine," the teen kept nodding as he reiterated the remark over and over again. He trotted over to the rest of the group, not bothering to gather the reins. "Your turn, Robin."

The curly headed knight stared at the younger boy before protesting the dangers of the course. Despite protests he went through the course, followed by the rest of the knights. Not a one of the knights came off, though there were a few close calls and by the end no one was without banged knees from cutting the turn around fences too sharp.

Nightfall came and went as the junior calvary ended the lesson, "Alright lads, nice try, though next time I don't want to see any trick riding. You want to try jumping from around your horses' necks? You do it on your own time." With that Geoffrey dismissed them to their clean, straw filled stalls and relatively-clean, straw filled beds.

Well there it is, not nearly as funny as the horse swimming incident but this one was, well safer. In this case Theoderic and Galahad represent myself and my dear, dear, Dot-boy, my boy. Just so I can clarify since Ms Genius Five had a hissy fit about it. He's my guy because he was there before mi novio was there and unless we get married (scary thought) he'll be there after. And that my dear friends, is why Dot-boy is my boy.


End file.
